scotlandisdifferent

Dear Patrick, I can't see why you sent me this. If it's a response to my claim that there's major corruption at the head of the Scottish establishment (and let me repeat, there is), it's tosh. Or to put it another way, I'm sorry to say that I find myself unpersuaded by the points you make: 1. "Police Scotland are operationally independent of Government and cannot be instructed to investigate". Police Scotland allocated 35 officers over two years, and untold public funds, digging  up dirt on Alex Salmond going back ten years. On the basis of what they found, fourteen charges were brought, and on fourteen of those charges Alex Salmond was acquitted. Police Scotland must be either thick as mince or eminently biddable (or both). 2. "This is one of the fundamental principles of our police system." Well, it would be if it was, but it isn't. 3. "COPFS (the Crown Prosecution Service) cannot instruct the police." I didn't say they could....

Dear Derek   Thanks for getting back to me.   Please be assured that, if there’s any credible evidence of criminal activity in Scotland, this will be examined by Police Scotland.   It may be helpful if I explain that Police Scotland are operationally independent of Government and cannot be instructed to investigate – or not to investigate – any evidence of criminality. This is one of the fundamental principles of our police system.   Similarly, the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS), who are Scotland's prosecution service, are entirely independent of the Police and cannot instruct, or be instructed, by them in these matters.   As you're aware, there is an ongoing and wide-ranging inquiry in the Scottish Parliament into all aspects of the handling of complaints against Alex Salmond, with which the Scottish Government are collaborating. If the Committee conducting the inquiry, which includes opposition MSPs, were to discover a...

A parrot walks into a bar and says to the bartender: Bird: Got any nuts? Bartender (curtly): No. Bird: Got any nuts? Bartender (louder): No! Bird: Got any nuts? Bartender (shouts): NO! And if you ask again I'll nail your beak to the bar! [Slight pause] Bird: Got any nails? Bartender: NO!! Bird: Got any nuts? Not quite sure how this fits in to anything, but it must apply somewhere to the bourach that is Brexit and the stramash that is independence.

We linguists very much like the item immediately below because it's so beautifully put together, with spelling and wit and everything. So as a wee linguist myself, I've pinched and posted it here. It comes from Wee Ginger Dug on 2nd November, second comment . Lucky Molly, with her clear-headed Mum!   Molly's Mum (@SNPsoosie) says: November 2, 2020 at 6:53 pm Boris Johnson has completely lost control of the pandemic in Englandshire now, if he ever had it before. Asked in the Commons what the plan was for coming out of the new lockdown, he said Englandshire would be coming out of lockdown, regardless of whatever happens, on December 2nd, for that is the date he hath spoken. He added that the R is currently above one, only a teeny weeny scientific bit, and hopefully, having waved some of Dominic’s entrails about, it will come down a eeny spleeny bit to just under one, but even if it doesn’t then the lockdown will endeth regardleth. All haileth Borith for he is the slayer of th...

Update, 26/09/2020: The joke at the foot of this post, the pseudo-graph from pseudo Kevin Hague, has been picked up and republished by Munguin's Republic , a lovely site with stunning nature pics, a strong but unencumbering commitment to Scottish independence, and jokes. Thanks, Tris, and best wishes in the ongoing struggle. IT'S TIME for a brief look at GERS, the "Government Expenditure and Revenue in Scotland" report. The usual narrative is: • Scotland has a deficit, because it spends more on public services than it raises in taxes. • The UK funds that deficit by giving money to the Scottish Government (the "fiscal transfer"). This means that Scotland sponges on the UK. • An independent Scotland couldn't fund that difference. All nice and clear, then - and all nice and falsely spun. Let's look at those falsehoods. Firstly, deficits are normal: all countries in the world have deficits, bar a handful of tax havens. What matters is whether a country...

That title reminds me of a linguistic joke, so let's get that over with: New student at Harvard, seeing a clearly established student whom he can ask for information: "Say, is this where the library's at? Established student (snootily): "This is Harvard. We don't end sentences with a preposition." New student: "Oh, I'll rephrase my question. Is this where the library's at, asshole?" To the point, now. It's been a long time since the Scottish independence movement has been anything other than murky, unpredictable, unbelievably baffling or just plain hopeless. However, things are beginning to turn the corner, with some upcoming dramatic events:- This coming Wednesday, it is said, Nicola Sturgeon will set out her response to BJ's refusal of the request for a Section 30 order. This either will or will not contain a commitment to an indy referendum this year. It's difficult to see how it will plausibly do that. But if it doesn...

If you think this post is going to be a rant about unredeemable bigotry among those that fought under the butcher's apron, think again. We need to be more nuanced than that. My wife and I had an encounter with a non-indy person after the march, two Saturdays ago, as we were coming out of the Mitchell Library (ah, the arcane leisure pursuits of the Byres Road glitterati!). He'd been leaning on the balustrade by the kerb opposite the outside door, smoking, and walked across the pavement to speak to us, a bearded and tidily turned-out man in his twenties. "See this march," he said, making eye contact. No doubt he'd noticed the SNP badge throbbing yellow on my lapel. "Ah don't haud wi' a' that." We raised an eyebrow. "See me, Ah'm a soldier," he said. "Ah wiz sent by Blair and Bush to Iraq, and when I came back, there was no help of any kind for me. Naethin, not from the British Government nor from the Scottish Government. So t...

Nice wee comment from Dr Jim on Wings over Scotland recently, about Scottish cultural practices: Damn Scots insisting on being Scottish, they’ll be wanting to speak their own language next, dear God what’ll happen if they decide to drive on the wrong side of the road or do *all* their counting in centimetres Yoon wummin/manny goes into a shop and says can I have 3LBS of Ayrshire potatoes please, the assistant says *It’s aw Kilos noo* Yoon wummin/manny says OK 3LBS of Kilos then It’s the future Trouble is, I can't find this comment on the WoS website. I think it was time-stamped as 12:56pm on 1 March 2019, but there's no post of that date in the WoS archives. But thanks to Dr Jim all the same. It's wrong to think that politicians are more hated now than they've ever been. Viscount Castlereagh was probably the world's leading politician in the first 20 years of the nineteenth century, masterminding the recovery from the Napoleonic Wars, re-establishing the old elite a...

Liked this response of Nicola Sturgeon to an awkward moment. And her self-deprecatory comment about a lot of people wanting to do the same shows a level of self-awareness and public engagement that not many politicians have. Good on the girl. BBC video clip copied, tealeafed and duplicated from Munguin's New Republic . Well done, Munguin!

Vile Blogger Stuart Campbell (Wings over Scotland) , for whom I have a high regard, appears to be indisposed for a few days. So since I'm by profession a linguist, here's a Scottish/English joke to cheer him up: Queen Victoria, on a visit to the Highlands, after eating Stu (correction: stew [pun intended]): That was delicious. Tell me, what was in it? Highland Clanperson: Och, weel, ma'am, there's leeks intillit, and potatoes intillit, and... Her Maj: Really lovely! And what, pray, is "intillit"? Highland Clanperson: Och, weel, ma'am, there's leeks intillit, and potatoes intillit, and... The conversation could go on for ever - she's asking about the meaning of the word "intillit", and they're telling her what's in the stew. And that takes us on to Joke 2 about two old besoms hingin' oot the windaes in Auld Reekie (gosh, what a patronising choice of words!), of whom Dr Johnson said, "They'll never agree. They're ar...